Valentines Day, is the last
Time I wrote
And that I’ve been honest.
That’s to say
I haven’t written in a long time
Months, infact.
Don’t get me wrong
I’ve screamed
I’ve yelled
I’ve given the finger
But I haven’t truly been honest
Just let everything ooze out as it will
Close my eyes
Rest my fingers on a keyboard
And write.

That’s a problem
Because one day I'll stop writing.
And those emotions will seep
Into my real life.

**** it all
This takes up my time
And I hate it.
I hate having to sit down and write this **** out.
It’s much easier to scream at people
As they walk by
They walk away faster
And I get to release a little bit of anger
But this is where I can form my thoughts
I can grasp at straws to try to explain myself

*******-
By the way, those are my thoughts
*******-
That’s what I think of all the people reading this
You don’t get it
I don’t know what you’re going through myself
But you **** sure should not comfort me
and say I understand what you’re feeling
You don’t
Because when I express myself
You claim I'm the bad guy.

As I ramble on, I start to allow myself release
It’s like when you don’t ******* for a month straight
Funny thing about that is most guys can’t pull it off
And most girls probably don’t understand the release I’m talking about
Either sexually or emotionally
You cry to ******* often

Funny to think these words mean ****
No one of importance is going to see them
And if she did for some reason
She don’t have a clue what I’m actually saying
And if she does… this is for her specifically
*******

Meanwhile I’m supposed to stay in line
Be the "better man"
And if I try to break out I’m told
"you're better than this"
"what about your reputation"

People sob over suicides
People cry over death
"they're mentally ill"
You put them in a ******* hospital for crazy people
It’s okay to call them crazy
Most of the time they don’t mind
Because you had the ******* *****
To say something honest to them
Instead of acting as though they’re the same as you
They are ******* different
And that’s what makes them a person you *******

So go ahead, don't ******* me. It has nothing to do with fear
Don't pretend I should be the better man, or that I'm just
Asking for attention and help.
Just ******* say I'm crazy

The tortured artists all come to the same conclusion
That nothing they can do matters
Death leads either to heaven, hell, or nothing
If nothing, then there is nothing left to bear
Hell can’t be worse than this
The devil will at least tell you why you’re there
Imagine that? ******* closure.

If you read through all this
I wasted your time
But I’m not sorry
You want the meaning of life?
Go **** yourself
Fastest way to find out
**** it, watch me do it.