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Eulogy

Classic bier pose: eyes closed, arms folded over chest, everything aligned perfectly. Peaceful, opposite of the turmoil in everyone around you. You never did think about others at all. In the flames I can see your body still. Peaceful pose: gone. Now: contortionist. Eight-year-old Chinese gymnast, perfect 10 I’d say, but perhaps I’m biased. Over there the judge says 7.99; stingy, just call it 8 even (or put the taxes in the damn score). I think it was the stress of the audit. That’s why your wife left, the audit.  And the hookers, you horny jackass. I’d piss on your pyre, but all the alcohol would catch it on fire and send it racing up to light ME, instead of one of your nasty cigarettes. Tax evasion, lying (eight, count ‘em, eight dependents: birds #s 1, 2, 3 (bird feeder pays for itself this way, don’t it?), chipmunk, dog, the mouse in the cellar, bird number 4 (only in the summer, not domesticated), even the random fox), you name it. How did you run that for so long? Hero’s funeral, the great pyre, a pile of ashes. Something a chimney sweep would leave, and about as important.  Did they ever find cause of death—the wife? Good, I helped her. She needed a shoulder to cry on after you died, and you sure as hell weren’t there (typical). A pile of ashes, ashes to ashes, etc., n’est-ce pas?
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Written by
jpb
American
For You?
j
Written by
jpb
American
Published
Apr 1, 2010
Lines·Words
40·237
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