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Aug 2018
I never asked you
for anything.
But you use to give it
all to me.

I did use to have
expectations.
However,
those quickly faded
with age.
As I realized
most of my "friends"
had no idea how to be one.

Actually,
I never realized this.
I just started to believe
that this is what friendship is.
Distance,
Bailed plans,
Missed phone calls,
A Text once a week,
asking me how I'm doing.

For over a year now
this has been the game
between all of my friends.
And so,
I actually forgot
what having a real friend meant.
I forgot,
that I was allowed to have expectations
for people I care about,
And CLAIM
to care about me.
I forgot,
my feelings mattered.
I forgot,
I was allowed to care.
I  stopped
asking you for anything at all
because I knew it would end up
in disappointment.

And I was right...

I realize now,
After making some new
genuine friends.
How valid my feelings
of resentment
and hurt
actually are.

Real friends
are there for you.
Not once a week
through a text.
Real friends
follow through on plans.
They make compromises.
They make an effort.
Real friends
will wipe away your tears.

Friendship
is about give and take.
All you did was take.
And now for you,
I have nothing left to give.
The parts of me
left to give
have been given
to my new friends.
My true friends.

I never asked you
for anything.

You were just suppose to be there...

But you're gone.

And I don't know
which one of us loses.
Maybe it's both of us.

But,
Either way,
I expect nothing from you
anymore.

I have learned,

My God have I ever learned...
Things I'll Never Say
Written by
Things I'll Never Say  27/F/Ontario, Canada
(27/F/Ontario, Canada)   
2.1k
       Ailsa, Survived, Andrew Choo and Lily
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