Chicago summer nights
I attempt to refuel and take care of myself

Lights out
My cat meows and hops onto the bed with me
I wish I could be more of a present thought
In your brain.

Clouds and pesticides
I could have gone to an event tonight
But I cleaned and took my laundry in
Cooked dinner and listened to a podcast
Went for a run and showered my bones
Defining myself through how I move and breathe
On my own.

I miss you dearly
I hope you miss me too
I know you said you do.

We watched movies with neon lights
Do you remember the way I wadded up the bottom
Of your boxer shorts
Because I got so antsy
During the movie?

Staying out of the way
I exist and I linger
In the halo of my own prism.

You come back in 20 days
You spoke of the count down not that long ago
Using words like babe and baby
You were affectionate and meaningful
I cried to my therapist

Love is certainly not convenient.