"Who am I?"

I utter these words into the emptiness

The emptiness plaguing my soul

Rainbow strands woven within a deep midnight hue

Is the aura of my personality

I have a darkness, I live in unease

It's not poetic

It's agony

Listless and confused

On the canvas of my life are disoriented objects out of place

A jazz song on full blast-- a raucous display

Of my heart and mind up in wild flames

I quest for meaning

Words to wrap around my life

So it would make more sense to me

But words fall short..

Words lose their meaning

When your life is in endless disorder and disharmony

I feel compelled to take my life within tight fists

To reign it in

Somehow

But I fear structure and routine

Would be water to the flame of my creativity

But my creativity

She needs order to ground her dreams in reality

Or else

I will spend my days in a magical reverie

And fail to contribute to the world

In this one, beautiful, free life

I have been gifted.