oh hope, how you twist the minds
of people, hiding reality through
a window with hastily shut blinds
ending with nothing but anger
nothing but pain coming from you,
nothing audible over this dismal clangor

where we try to succeed and yet
i know we will fail
everything causing me to fret,
pursuing her to no avail

love and loneliness have made you
stronger than you really should be
for even in the beginning i always knew
that this would never work for me

you helped me find love, to hold
onto something real, someone special
but right now i feel numb and cold

nothing can fill the place in my heart
where she fills me right now,
so why did you even find her a part
in my life, why is this a thing you'd allow
if you knew that each moment would be torture,
making me feel like i'm not enough to make
her feel like she's perfect, becoming the author
of my own suffering, my insecurity destined
to push her away, my attitude too dismal
and my mind too desolate, bested by
these circumstances that seem so abysmal.

i hate you, hope
because i'm afraid

because i fear you've given me the taste
of what i've longed for my entire life

and now you seem poised to take it away
to take her from my life because i'm not enough
and i'll never be able to see anyone but her,
as alone and solitary as before, if not more.