oh hope, how you twist the minds of people, hiding reality through a window with hastily shut blinds ending with nothing but anger nothing but pain coming from you, nothing audible over this dismal clangor
where we try to succeed and yet i know we will fail everything causing me to fret, pursuing her to no avail
love and loneliness have made you stronger than you really should be for even in the beginning i always knew that this would never work for me
you helped me find love, to hold onto something real, someone special but right now i feel numb and cold
nothing can fill the place in my heart where she fills me right now, so why did you even find her a part in my life, why is this a thing you'd allow if you knew that each moment would be torture, making me feel like i'm not enough to make her feel like she's perfect, becoming the author of my own suffering, my insecurity destined to push her away, my attitude too dismal and my mind too desolate, bested by these circumstances that seem so abysmal.
i hate you, hope because i'm afraid
because i fear you've given me the taste of what i've longed for my entire life
and now you seem poised to take it away to take her from my life because i'm not enough and i'll never be able to see anyone but her, as alone and solitary as before, if not more.