These are the threads that I wear
they're
not Kings road or Carnaby,
I
don't want to be a wannabe.
I
just want to be me
wearing my gear.

Fashion?
don't look here
or expect to see a
catwalk King.

'Clothes maketh the man'
said me mam,
I give you my word that I never
heard her say it,

oh
pray it's not true,
off the rack is not me
and definitely not you,
I can't be doing with
'made to measure'
that's for caskets
and basket cases
(am I allowed to say that?)

I would sooner run naked
through the centre
of Portsmouth
than wear what patently
wouldn't suit me
and those 'nice boys from the navy'
could wave me
as I pass by on my way.