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Jul 2018
I wish I was omnipresent
Just like a god of many talents
I have a fear of missing out
Because you seem happier when I’m not around

Insecurities builds an excess of possessiveness
I feel like my absence equates to a worthless self
And so, my grasp loosens
And we dissipate into thin air

I wish I was omnipresent
Just like a god of many talents
I have a fear of missing out
Because you’re able to open up and I am not

It’s my fault, I know
I put all my eggs in one basket
And I made you responsable
Because you’re the one holding the nest
But I couldn’t give you much so you went elsewhere, that’s fair
But you developed bonds at such a rate
And I feel threatened

I wish I was omnipresent
Just like a god of many talents
I have a fear of missing out
Because you’re able to say ‘I love you’ to strangers and I’m not

This dichotomy is quite challenging
Because I’m in a state where I want to see you grow
And for your own sake, that could mean that you need to go
I feel like my presence emphasizes the distance
And that the concept of us was merely quixotic

I wish I was omnipresent
Just like a god of many talents
I have a fear of missing out
And I fear I’ve missed out too much for us to come back
I haven't uploaded in a while but I want to come back.

Great news: I graduated, I have a new job & I have enough money to pay tuition.
Bad news: I'm starting to lose one of my best friends of 7+ years  and I have difficulty coping.

I'll keep you updated.
Much love, N.
Written by
Nohémie  21/F/Montreal, QC
(21/F/Montreal, QC)   
  389
   Bee and tjindigo
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