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Jul 2018
the sound of faulty cogs scraping against each other
as if something got jammed
or broken
would i have to throw it away all together?
i can't be bothered to fix it.
i don't know how.

electric wires become entwined between these rustic cogs
ripping apart, causing an ignition of a spark.
a spark of...
fear.
i could attempt to repair the wires,
but it's too late.
it's already touching the water.
the water of my tears.

mass chaos reigns, and i,
stupid me, stand there in the middle.
closing my eyes, covering my ears, breathing from my mouth.
thinking of better times.
as these cogs begin to break
as these electric wires begin to make
sparks into fires
i hear a sound
reverberate
from afar.

"you are chaotic. you destroyed yourself."

the screeching noises of the cogs become unbearable
the electric wires have tangled around my neck
my tears streaming down my cheeks trigger a spark

a spark of...
guilt.

i go limp, as i begin to catch on fire.
no screaming, i deserve this pain.

"you deserve all the worst things life will bring unto you."

and i open my eyes,
and see my reflection in the mirror.
self-hatred.
Fritzi Melendez
Written by
Fritzi Melendez  23/F/Texas
(23/F/Texas)   
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