when god lets the gates of the earth close about me finally how much time would i have spent here to know my worth or would i be old enough to know what defines it or what doesn’t
will I be touch starved, would i have filled that empty space inside my heart with the fiction of an angel’s stomach or with fruit, would it be overripe? and would heaven be preserved doves’ wings hung made to like like it’s flying??
or just a very dark room like my bedroom at night with the shades down with violet air? would I hear the world going on outside would i hear trucks drive by and would I hear my house being torn down long after I died?
would heaven be petrified like pictures in a book about gardens and how they should be when I know that what the earth has to offer me is more beautiful? am I a worm? Will I be a moth in some two-sun solar system far away from here? Was i alive before I was born?
when the earth comes about me like the undertow, the ground drops away steep and cold would I have been a good woman or a bad man?