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Jun 2018
aside from shame, i think fear is the worst feeling there is
it’s one of the ones that physically affects you
it causes intense pounding in the chest, but not from your heart beating
no it more like someone banging on the inside your chest cavity as if it’s filling up with water and they’re drowning
it makes you weak at the knees, and fingertips
your whole body is jumbled with muscle jerks and trembles
and my gosh
your mind
imagine being stabbed in the skull in eight different spots all at once
over and over and over
and you go mute
unable to express any of this outwardly
you just look odd
but your body is in flight or fight mode
and you’re just choosing to sit
and that’s what you do
you sit in it
let it eat you up in every way
terrified out of your ******* mind
i have severe abandonment issues
my boyfriend took my car this night, and had gotten lost with no way to contact me
every other possible scenario had run thru my mind during the 5 hours he was lost
Written by
jai  20/F/texas
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