i miss the sadness i miss the home that never was the beautiful you never thought you were
where has your pretty gone who’s wearing your flowered dress now whose lips are your boyfriends kissing who could’ve known this was to come
i miss your father’s pride when you gave him a reason to be sober now all you are is disappointment another unlucky occurrence for him to sleep with on the couch his favourite drinking buddy
i miss church i miss the red the pastor turned you the blood running to your holy cheeks when the congregation applauded at the fact that you would burn for this that this secret would be the end of you the ***** that came up in that bathroom the god that frowned upon the smell
i miss the way boys used to look at you when you were something to be desired when you made others feel more than just confused when you weren’t an inconvenience to love you’d rather your innocence be stolen for being beautiful than for being unwanted i suppose you pick your poison
i miss the way you looked every night you cried the colour mascara makes when it meets blood like drugstore lipstick at least there was something gorgeous something romantic about it the way the moonlight made your bones stick out it was something boys could fall in love with
pretty girl why would you ruin yourself like this happy girl how couldn’t you see it for yourself you were a trophy your future said husband it said children it said the life we want for you forget your own
you were not happy but how can you learn to be now that place that played safe haven at least, was warm
you are not sure if you miss the sadness you simply know this world wants you to