my heart is haunted by people that haven't died yet
this sounds like a threat but i think it's more a promise,
more a disease,
all the people i have ever loved
are people i will love forever.

there is no way to shed this, i
cannot
scrub away all the love i meant to give you,
but couldn't. and i am trying now, here,
in my own bathroom,
all the scrubbing until my hands
are red
are shaking
are not mine

and all i could ever ask for was that you hold them, so i asked

i think the problem was that you couldn't hear me over the sound of water
you couldn't hear me through the closed shower door
you couldn't hear me down the hall and into the living room

i think the problem was that you didn't want to hear me at all