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May 2018
I've never been in a war
Blood has never entrenched me
My limbs have never been severed
For the most part, I've been free

I've never had to hide
From someone beating and beating
I've never taken drugs
Cigars have never preceded me

The only death I've experienced
Is my grandma who used to sew a bunch
My sister died when I was a baby
I don't remember her, so I don't feel much

Annually, I get a fever twice
I've had heaps of friends along the years
I always get money on my Birthday and Christmas
I've scarcely shed tears

But my life isn't perfect
There are battles I fight every day
I'm young but that's not an excuse
To not feel pain

Nights are the worst
My mind is alive thinking
My regrets are coiling and rebounding
They attack me 'til I'm bleeding

I have conversations with someone I've never met
I long for someone to truly tell everything
Not just a paperback diary or a church
Not just in the songs that I sing

I'm trying to find my identity
Some days I'm loud and crazy
Most days I'm quiet
Every day I'm lazy

I wonder what to say to someone
Something that won't imprison
Me in a cycle of "They're going to judge me"
They'll leave before they've actually listened

I think about my future
Hoping my dreams will come true
Yet it's hard to know if I'll ever get there
The worry is as vast as the sky is blue

I have a lot of doubts about God
Even though I'll never leave
His love is too real to say goodbye
Yet sometimes it's hard to fully believe

So no
I've never been in a war
My home life is equal to what many call bliss
I've never been in want for anything
Content-ness I shouldn't have to miss

Yet in my thoughts
I feel a sadness
That's hard to escape
Huh, kinda like sin
Every day I'm inwardly fighting my own battles
And I wonder if I'll ever win
I've decided that I'm going to be more real with what I write. The purpose of art is to express yourself, and I need to be brave enough to that. I need to be brave enough to point out the fact that I am a warrior.
Written by
Heather McCorkle  15/F
(15/F)   
  198
     Fawn, Salmabanu Hatim and eric calabrese
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