Love is this ****** up illusion fed to me as I grew up and I believed in it and thus I am broken down whilst I achieve the point of being vacant within. It's like Santa Claus or the Easter bunny. It's a lie for eventually I'll just die
Within until I cannot even cry
And I'm stuck in a ****** up loop of pain and numbness and an empty void asking why.
I climb into my bed
I'm screaming death inside my head
I picture taking the safety off the 9mil shove the barrel against my head and let the bullet pierce my sculpt.
In that instant before I die, I think "Sht I need help, I don't know the fck I am doing here, but I have to have a bigger purpose."