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May 2018
Joints simply electric.
Aware of every muscle.
Feel heavier today,
Did I wake up on Jupiter?
No, just barometric pressure.
Each step a chore;
Try not to let it show.
My mind compensating,
Trying to ignore what the brain perceives.
By then end of the day I am wasteland.
Existence becomes intolerable.
It's times like these I forget,
That my minds on constant auto pilot.
"It's not pain it's pressure"
"It's all a misfire"
"This isn't real."
Without a rested mind,
I melt, I burn, I'm plagued by electric waves.
Harshly remained of what I daily ignore.
Some days I can't do it,
Today is one.
I wrote this during a pretty intense flare up. During a time when I was overburdened with many existential factors of life that I could not focus on ignoring the pain - and so - I was harshly reminded about how important it is to my condition to have a healthy mind.
Alaina Moore
Written by
Alaina Moore  30/Genderqueer/Chicago
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