It pains me,
It tears me,
It troubles me,
Deep...deep in there..!
When you call me,
When you ask me,
When will I come...

It disturbs me serious..
I cannot answer,
I cannot promise..
It hurts ..
deep ..deep down there...!
When you ask
Will I be there for your birthday..


It shakes me hard
It's a bad thought..
And it pains me deep.. deep down there..!!
When I think of all the letters I receive,
When I miss the moments so cherished..!!


But it makes me proud..
The thought of being of some purpose, meaningful..
Me at border,
Protecting you, our home,
Protecting our country, our motherland..

It effects my peace..
Yet, it makes me strong too...
All the pain of missing you little one..
All the pain of loving a fellow friend...
Gone now to home to Rest in peace...forever...
Fighting and guns, Commands and demands..
All make me strong each passing moment ..

Though all of it pains me...
Deep.. deep down there..!!

It sure does make me strong too..!!!

Sparkle in Wisdom
6/5/2018