There was a brief moment where life itself skipped a beat,
It was as if the entire universe took a deep breath;
before continuing on its course to almost certain defeat
And in that moment everything shifted
Imperceptibly, to a new heading.

Afterwards, even as the infinite variations on reality
shuddered through time and space
My vision dimmed, a flicker of existential panic;
and the only hint of the act taking place.

This tiny vibration, a tremor
Like the warm fraction of a shadow of a breath,
hanging for a second after someone leaves the room
Plays itself as fleeting phantoms of possiblities.
And then she blinks.

The worst part of this is the knowledge I deny.
The sick, surrending self to circumstance is the real me,
the one who always was inclined to play with fire.
I know what she is capable of, despite what I see;

The pure kinetic force of her power over me
Leaves fractured pieces and frayed edges in my head
And I've known all along I'm out of my league
A predator grin hides behind her shy smile
Words come out wrong like promises from the dead
And my shame is knowing and denying so

It doesn't stop me playing her game of trust and lies
Because in a joke of a destiny I was meant for this.
She is the widow spider, demons in her lustful eyes
Aware of the ending scene, still I greet the execution,
Helpless and mute as if it was my first sunrise.

And in her own way she is something worse
than the darkness inside her, destroying the used
In the chaos of the pleasure it brings her,
She becomes a collapsing angel, tainted and confused