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May 2018
I feel so angry
And I can't bring myself
To bleed out these feelings
Across this digital landscape
Because of course I'm in love with you

I don't know if I want to be anymore
So I'll let this blood pool

It seems as though
Everyone I am in love with
Causes me the most damage
While the ones I love less
Seem to love me the most

What a disgusting dichotomy
I feel so stuck in this

I love you
I hate you
I want to die
I don't care at all
I'm crying on my porch
I don't understand what to do
I don't know what I need

I say I need space
You turn around and say
It'll make you want to leave me
I guess if it's such an easy thought
Then it doesn't matter that much

And if I leave you myself
Then this will have all been for nothing
All that hurt
And all that love
All of the struggles we pulled through
Thrown away over one night
One "mistake"
That you probably don't see as one

It's as if you don't know me at all
Broken promises cannot be forgotten
Trust and respect
Those are everything to me
My entire existence originates there
You knew I'd be angry
But you chose to continue instead
So why do I even care
If you clearly don't?
Nicole
Written by
Nicole  27/Non-binary/Wisconsin
(27/Non-binary/Wisconsin)   
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