I will never be able to look at red paint the same way after that night

Okay story time. This may be triggering so don't say I didn't warn you. So one night after I threw away my blade I was falling and I wanted to cut. But as I didn't have a blade I couldn't so I grabbed a tube of red water color paint and I sorta faded out and when I came back I had red paint all over my arms and legs. With words painted on in black that read "if you knew how broken I was would you still love me?". So yeah that's my story.