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Apr 2018
Why did you do this?

Honestly, I trusted you
Of all things you could have done
I never expected this.

When I caught you,
you acted like I was dumb.
"Macie, it's nothing."

I remember when I had to tell her.
I remember looking into her eyes
and telling the most beautiful person in the world
that her husband had broken her trust.

I had to break her heart for her.
You have no clue how much that hurt.

I had to look into her large chocolate colored eyes
and tell her the words you laced around the other girl.
Do you know how that made me feel?

I remember when I went out to dinner with her
because she wanted to be as far from you as she could be.

I remember her not touching her food
and holding back the tears.
She decided to color
because she needed something else to focus on.

With every ounce of pain she was collecting
in the biggest heart I have ever known,
she told me "I can't believe he did this to us."

She is humble enough to say
that you didn't just mess things up for her.

I didn't talk to you that night
or the following day

The second night, you came into my room and apologized
As if you deserved my forgiveness.

Your words didn't just wrap around the other girl
They wrapped around me.
How do I trust my dad when he not only broke her heart
but he destroyed mine?

No one knows how much you destroyed
except for me.

Only 17 years old and somehow I'm holding our house
Not just with my words, but with my hands.

People always said I had mom's hands.
They're chubby, but my fingers are just like hers.

They have the power to hold my mom
the way she held me after every time you yelled at me.
That means a lot.

The fact that this wasn't the first time makes me hate you, Dad.
I wish I could not hate you, Dad.
I wish you could just get up and leave, Dad.
Please try to fix everything, Dad.
I wish you would realize we don't want you, Dad.
I need you, Dad.

I can't believe you did this.
How could you.
You didn't just cheat on your wife of 18 years who gives you everything. She was the best thing that has ever happened to you. She's beautiful, sassy, outspoken, and unbelievably in love with you.

You cheated on your 24 year old daughter. She was the best thing that came from your first divorce. She was the only thing about your life that wasn't a nightmare.

You also cheated on her husband, and your two grandchildren. The little boy being the most outgoing, sweet, honest boy. Only 3 years old, yet he is brilliant and the center of the universe to you. There's also the little girl. She is the most beautiful face on the planet. She adores everyone and everything. Especially you, Grandpa.

You cheated on your 17 year old daughter, who is everything you wouldn't want. Outspoken, gives empowerment to those who need it, feels everyone is an equal, that drives you insane, doesn't it, Dad? I remember when you were mad about me telling you I had a date, this was a couple of months ago. I had to wait until I was 16 to date.  I stand up for what I believe in. I say whats on my mind. I fight for what I want. You try to break me down and respect you, but you lose my respect every single day. Yet you know I adore you. You know how much I desire a relationship.

You cheated on the twins. Two 8 year old children who you adopted. Remember? They endured neglect, pain, having their mother give them up after she couldn't be clean. You accepted and loved them.

Look at your life. Everything you have. Why would you throw it away for someone who isn't worth half of what Mom is worth?
Written by
Macie Goodspeed  16/F
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