it starts with a feeling of something being wrong
all conversations feel fake
you're missing...
something
everything
smiles feel fake on your lips
and frowns leave a bad taste in your mouth
your feelings are gone
shrugged off like a coat
that you can't seem to find

your feelings are gone
separated by a glass wall
apathy is too little of a word to describe it
its the feeling of being stripped away of all context
all emotion and memories
you talk to the one you love
but love is hidden away
you can only feel a hint of it
like someone yelling at you
from a floor above
the only emotions that aren't gone
are fear and anxiety

it's vaguely terrifying
like a horror movie you've all but forgotten
you know something is wrong
but you're not worried enough to do anything to change it
you're a husk
and husks don't care what happened to them

the trigger? unpredictable
maybe I was feeling too much
from the sad book I had just read
the cure? who knows
the only thing that saved me today was a youtube video
when laughter forced its way from my chest
I felt my emotions flood back