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Apr 2018
(NaPoWriMo Challenge: April 8, 2018)

Our time together was brief and occasional
but illuminating in how closed I had become
to myself. Horseplay dusting up
only inhibitions: Billy Joel throwing a rock
in your basement, the unmoved dollhouse
in the sunroom, breakfast in the green,
carpeted kitchen: you asking, β€œCocoa Pebbles
or Lucky Charms?” Me answering, β€œWhatever,
you decide...” because my choices might betray
some unlikability. And so I was paralyzed,
some Joelean Stranger meeting myself
in a mask for the very first time,
afraid of the risk of choice, the self
dissipated like a mist over a boat
on a lake. Which is all to say
this lead to my first self help initiative,
age nine: to start having opinions,
so as not to become the worst sort of friend
I would ever have.
These poems for NaPoWriMo were inspired by a poem I did years ago for my friend Michelle after hearing she passed away, 30 poems for inspiring women connected to me. The title now says "33 Women" because the poem to Michelle poem had already been written as well as two prologues I posted March 31.

See Jayne here!
Mary McCray
Written by
Mary McCray
     mariamme, Kathryn Rose and J
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