I have been sick for the last two months
After days of bleeding,
cramping,
depression,
panic attacks,
suicidal thoughts,
multiple hospital visits
and an intense fear that I was dying
I am starting to feel like myself again
My suicidal thoughts due to the medication I was prescribed
were enough to scare me into appreciating my life
in a way I never have before
I see things differently
I feel things differently
I have a deeper respect for my body
and all that it has gone through to keep me alive
My faith in God is deeper
My anxiety no longer has the control it once enjoyed
and my depression doesn't haunt me like it used to
I have this urge to live that is so great
and my constant need to be alone is no longer there
I've changed and I don't feel the need to prove myself
to the world
I just want to live
I want to taste life in a new way
and capture every single moment like it's my last
I want to live in the moment
and no longer waste my time worrying about the future
I've let go of baggage that was weighing me down like an anchor
resting in the deepest part of the ocean
I've fallen in love with living
I'm no longer afraid of anything