For every apology you've given me,
You deserve it ten times over.
For every ear you've lent me,
You deserve my full attention.

You've hurt me.
You've really hurt me.
You've made me feel so small,
And yet,in this moment I feel huge.
I feel like,
This huge weight on your shoulders.
And I feel blind,
I feel deaf.
As though,
All of your efforts have been in vain,or something.
And I don't see them, I don't hear them.
And yet,I'm 2 inches away.

For every sorry I've given you,please multiply them by 20.

I've made mistakes too, you're not alone.
Why do I make you feel so alone?
I nag, and I complain,and I yell,
and I know how small you feel.

I claim to do so much,
What b.s.
On this toxic throne,
Is nothing but my projection,
and denial.

I know you're thinking of this as a mistake,
That I should never blame myself
That it's you,
That it's only,you.
But please,multiply my apologies by 20.

Because I do have a part.
Yes,I do.
I play a role.
And I remind myself,
Of him sometimes.
And I cry because,
I mean ****,he was mentally draining at times.
And now I'm draining.

How much do you have to take from me,
For me to understand how sorry you are?
I Judge you
I belittle you
I emotionally scar you.
Yes, yes I do. Stop saying I don't.
It doesn't matter if you're deserving of any of it.
The magnitude to which I take things,
Is the role I play.

I am part of the reason,
Why your poems are of raven days.
I am part of the reason,
Why you feel,
Stuck in your ways.

I tell you,
You can't escape.
That your home,
Is not an escape.
That I,
Am not an escape.

Then I ask how I can help.
In the same breath.

The irony.

For every sorry,
Multiply them by zero.
Delete them from your memory.
And please accept this one.

I love you.
I love that you've stayed.
I love that,despite my roles, you've succeeded in making me think that I had none,
Until now.

Jesus I see it in your face,
I hear the eggshells beneath your steps

I love how literally, I just need a touch from you

I love how literally, your eyes melt me.
Yep,they still do that.6 years can't change that feeling.

I love,everything.
And I mean that.

And I'm so,sincerely sorry,
For subconsciously making you pay.
For consciously belittling you.
For being my own double standard.
I'm severely sorry.