Don’t cut all your food up before you eat it: Slice as you go. And don’t mix up your curry and rice first: Take some curry, add some rice… “But I can eat it all at once this way”.
Cut your box hedge only once or twice per year. “That will let it grow six foot high instead of four though”. Do all your shopping at once. Plan ahead so you don’t have to nip out for things. “Hate shopping. Rather buy as and when.”
Put your Geraniums in pots over winter. “I’ll need hell of a lot of pots! Will break the roots Digging them out Of that claggy soil.”
Your Artex could have Asbestos in it: That could be dangerous. “I’m not about to drill into it And breathe in the dust am I?”
What you don’t know when your car MOT and tax are due? “My garage knows and they look after me. But I checked them on the internet now. The garage is right.”
You didn’t know you’d paid off your mortgage And you claimed for a moat? “I’m a politician”.
Why do you put all that ******* on Facebook? “Because my friends Love my posts and say so.”
You are supposed to… You shouldn’t… You should… You mustn’t… You Must!