So much pain in my life,

I got a million question and can only get one answer; this too shall pass...,

I can't say nothing back I got so much that's already past in my life,

I try to do right try to live by the word yet as wordily as

I live I still can't get up from this weight burdening my chest.

So much pain in my life,

I thought of giving up many times,

Thinking how I got my soul whooped and got my face torn - broken

My heart left in shambles but still I continue,

I strive and survived made it threw so many storms

but how long I can I go on,

how can I continue to hold my head up ,

So Much Pain in my Life,

Look at all the stuff that's happened Uncle killed in car accident,

Born to a mother with nothing but sin prostitution,

A drunk& drug addicted father who couldn't bother

for the life of him to give to all these children

what was need to

keep even the house heated,

Marine &Vietnam; Vet- P.o.w. ,

Shhh get down don't move,

See this was something

we all got used to made fun of him and his craziness too,

So Much Pain in my Life

Nana Sick and doing her best with all these kids,

Got a gambling husband

so hiding Money be come a game to us,

Out in the street catching heat,

rolling with the Latin Queens thinking

I was bigger and bader than anyone

till shot fired

My friends life "red" spread on the concrete, got pregnant

and never thought to be the same ,

Little girl become woman - At 13 -Baby ripping out my innocents,

Hell of a life to live &still; I give!

So Much Pain in my life...........



SO MUCH PAIN IN MY LIFE,

Why me I cried to Allah/God,

Why am I being punished, my answer in return, was nothing,

So much Pain in My life..,

Lightly

thoughts come to my head "this is the cross you must bear,

a test to see how much do you love me" must be the voice I been waiting for...,

After that silence noting...,

I bow my head and say thank you ...,

Even still I'm left feeling stupidity and sorrows chilling my bones,

So much Pain in My Life,

Strife's wont let up ,You cant possible know my pain just like I cant know yours,

Saw Tricks turn Church goers and pimps turn child molesting-  Preachers,

Growing up grown and trying to make on my own, NYC held me down,

But the lessons haven't ended it's just the beginning for me,

So Much Pain in my life, I

'I'll continue and win some day soon...,

Until I do hmm I cant tell you

I have no advise to give to you, as wise I am

I'm still learning and growing ..,

So much pain in my life,

Been mother and pretend father to children of and not of my flesh,

Been the abused as well as the abuser,

Many times I wanted to take my own life, but the Sign at the

Gates Say do not enter the sin and thoughts of a sinner must

not disgrace these steps turn around its not ya time and if you take ya life ,

You'll never be a child of mines,

I walk away inflated, Begging to make it another day,

So much pain in my Life,

Night and day I beg for release for the pain in my heart to Cease,

Wanting to be more and working on the impossible,

Cuz threw my life and my eyes

I see miracle's happening every day and the dream continues to make me,

Breaking sprites but in love I can't say I ever felt it truly owned it or knew it,

Lust I can confess plenty,

but one things for sure My time isn't priceless everyone has something in the closet,

weather or not , they'll tell is up to them for me its another way to let you in,

So much Pain In My LIFE.........,

Now as I lay my children down to sleep,

I smile and think to my self even threw it all I got the

one things that counts& cant ever hurt me ,

Maybe I say..,

Thinking of Nana again and the pain her own Children caused her,

I say another Prayer,

Spare me lord, don't let my children ever feel what I felt..,

And if it can be helped please never let them live life as

I once did ,Give me the peace in knowing they'll

grow up better and striving to Greatness in their own

womanhood,

With out, So much Pain in their Life.

Like mines...,

I'm crying as I ask him this and I say to him again even thou you

Carried me as the
Footprints would have me Believe..,

I thank you still for you're by my side and always will be..,

knowing your

Love's unconditionally

Given to me with out question
and I'm blessed
Still I say thank you..,

Knowing you Saved me

SO MUCH PAIN IN MY LIFE!

Always Me Ayeshah