suicide has a way of leaving a wake of potential saviors behind it

the kind of folks who've got all the right words and silent holding of space
who've been through it too and are happy to sit in solidarity for as long as it takes
the humans who know how to create connections to the right resources and have unlimited time to sit in the muck

i wish i didn't cut you out, like a child with wild rounded edged scissors chopping her best friend out of the portrait she drew of the last time they climbed up that big hill together

i can feel your spirit bouncing around the universe still, unsure and free, just as you should have been here

the echoes of loss are always painful, but this one is strange and different, this one will whisper me to sleep until i don't wake up