a city in the sunset

when your back caught the rays of the sun,
through slanted windows, as stripes run down your back
and when you put your arm behind my passenger seat
looking at me, losing yourself in my shy eyes
when you told me you just wanted fun
putting a lock of my hair that escaped from behind my ears back gently
when you would stand there and watch me slowly walk up to you
and embrace me with a hug and a kiss on top my forehead

i knew then i wanted you.

i wanted to take your hand
to comb your hair back with my fingers
to watch you get frustrated with the small things and laugh about it later
for you to surprise me with hugs from the back

that smile, that shirt
that look, the way my heart flutters in the chest
as you look back and grin when you see me standing there
as you sit there, leaning back, in that school desk
eyes burning holes in me

I knew then that you too, wanted me
I knew you wanted to feel our skin against each other’s
your lower lip between my lips
me on your lap, my hands tangled in your hair


and the first time you took me to your house
your dog barking, as you danced with me in front of the mirror
and as we collapsed together in laughter
and you held me there on your bed, not saying anything because there was nothing that needed to be said

i watch you watch me
I can still hear our breathing, and see you smiling
and its suddenly quiet
as the door opens and your arms suddenly unwrap around me

I knew this would happen
the only thing that could be heard was
“please, i can explain myself”
but i don’t want to hear your explanations

i just wanted to be your only
but i didn’t get to be that
perhaps it wasn’t meant to be
but i refused to let a tear drop

if you had another,
why did it feel so real?
why did my heart ache, even after knowing
you played my heart strings like a well tuned guitar?

and at that point, all i could see is our first date
a hill we had to hike up to get to the top
and me asking “are we there yet” constantly
but you never got annoyed, you just laughed and said “almost”

and then you took off the blindfold
to reveal the view of our city in the sunset
rose gold accented the buildings,
standing tall in rows next to each other

i couldn’t breathe, and you couldn’t stop smiling
and we sat there, on an old tablecloth, silent,
enjoying the company of each other
until it got too late to be out

and all I can think now is how similar we were to that sunset,
beautiful and breath taking
the glory of pinks and purples,
but it was only a matter of time before the dark of night would consume us