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Mar 2018
the other night, I read my love poems about you from somewhere in the distant past
I read the words of desperate love back to myself, but somehow they were unfamiliar
I do not remember writing them
I do not remember the person I used to be when I was with you

I got to a line, it read
“there’s no place i’d rather be, than here with…”
I couldn’t read the next word, a tear had blurred the ink

It was then that I realized I was sobbing
The pages flooded, overflowing with emotions I had forgotten were there
Soon, the whole notebook was ruined
A boat filling with water and I don’t have a bailer

My words about you blurred, ruined by a tsunami of tears that had no warning of showing up
My body did not warn me to take shelter or to tie down my belongings

I slip into my old heart, the room that I had been avoiding
The locked door has busted open from the storm
My body rocks, shakes, as if it is finally trying to rid me of you

I cling to this heart space, memories clouding my vision like fog on the highway
I’m only able to see what is right in front of me and right now that is you
But you look unfamiliar
Your voice is one I have never heard
My words repeat back to me over and over but they sound like a language I do not understand

I force myself to open my eyes, as if I’m trying to awaken myself from a nightmare
I get up and I light a candle

I set the flooded ship away into the ocean of forgotten
olivia grace
Written by
olivia grace
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