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Mar 2018
I was once a carefree and playful child
one who watched movies, and as a result  
grew up learning there was a love interest
in every scenario
I saw character development and watched
as the former loser would overcome their own fears
and get the beauty
every **** time.
they gained their confidence, plus
a partner in crime to share their new life with
as they shared a passionate kiss
and rode happily into the sunset

I grew with these false premises in my mind
as I waded carefully through the torrential downpour
of emotions in my angsty adolescence
I wasn’t yet confident enough in myself to imagine
someone by my side to share my suffering
but I thought that one day, I would be
and they would reach out to me
as suddenly as they had on tv

the former loser was never my path to follow.
I am ending my teen years as a different trope
the confident girl who doesn’t need anyone else
she knows her flaws, but loves herself endlessly,
but this is where the storyline fails.
I still walk with my head high,
but I have yet to attract my match
with the personality everyone boasts will be enough
it’s not.

it’s never enough.

it’s time for film to be a little more ******* accurate,
but maybe that’s why we love it so much?
It shares the stories that we may never know,
in a world so full of desire,
yet so devoid of passion for one another.

Cheers to you for seeking your sunset lover.
I’ll be waiting in the club of broken hearts  
when reality shatters your hope
and leaves you to live the same path
as I.

Maybe then it won’t be so lonely.
Written by
Hollau  19/F/Los Angeles
(19/F/Los Angeles)   
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