i walked in the rain
a hoodie biked by me
he smelt like you.

it made me wonder
of all the moments
i never witnessed
you getting ready
for our first date
trying on different outfits
rehearsing lines
nervous fingers
trembling hands
i wonder how many
times you tried so
hard to find a way
to my heart and now
that i'm looking
around me i realize
just how special you
were because you always
made an effort and tried
your best and your best
was the best.

these boys they don't
understand what it
means to commit to a woman
to treat her right
to be the kind of guy
to whom they'd want to be a wife
these boys they're just boys
with no hint of being a man
and i don't know if i can ever
settle for them after
everything we've been through.

castles to castles.
gold to gold.
with you, i had wanted
to grow old.

i wish i had caught a glimpse
of everything you had invested
and all the effort you made
to put a smile on my face.

ashes to ashes
dust to dust.
i'm all alone now
and i really miss us.