Old habits of another life,
Constantly creep in
Polluting my soul with its strife

Do I deserve love? Am I worthy?
These questions that forever haunt me
Feeling numb has no judge, has no query

An emotionally joust within my own mind
To open my heart
I must step away from
These walls I hide behind

There is a comfort in loneliness
A sanctuary from feeling
Where time is of no consequence
No desire to smile or take a chance
Never wanting to laugh or dance

But existing without living
Isn't living at all
To never risk being hurt or taking a fall

Risk, reward is an equation that's answer is steep
Balancing protecting your feelings over the treasures you may reap

These are the demons I face everyday
And the constant fight not to drink them away

The battle is both inside and out
Ulcers and anguish are it's trophies
Time to put down the bottle
And face life like a man
Not with shots of tequila and pulls from a can

Time to plunge into the unknown of what could be
Embrace the love that's in front of me
Free fall backwards into her radiant clutches
Stand on my feet without  inebriated
crutches