i woke up at four am
you had died approximately three hours before
i got chills and lay impossibly still
with wide eyes
there was something
all around me

i climbed cautiously
down to the bathroom
to smoke a cigarette
as if someone
was watching

i drank a lot
of water

now whenever i get chills
i think it is you
trying to touch me

today as i methodically
wiped down tables
a radio broadcast in the background
was having a deep
sunday night personal in-depth hour
on the talk show
and all this losing a loved one
and a piece of me
****
is really getting to me
because you're still here
aren't i breathing?

this feeling is not a wishbone
it breaks evenly
and we walked away
with half of each