I bite my cheeks down until my mouth foams with blood and saliva. Intentionally or not, I love the copper taste. My eyes can only see the normality of it all. But to others, I look like I need help.
I grit my teeth until they crack and fall out of my lips. The blood gushes out, fuck I can't get enough of this. This pain that my body seeks to self destruct. It's harmful pleasure that emits from my nerves.
I chew at the sides of my mouth as it leaks out with blood. So bittersweet, I can't believe my body produces this. I guess it's just me trying to calm my nerves. I can't stop shaking while I type these words.
I scratch my left hand until I peel off the skin. Through my muscle tissues and my leaking red veins, I can see the end. I feel my eyes go wide and turn crazed. I'm not suicidal, I'm just a mess, okay?
I dig my finger nails deep into my palms. Little crescent like shapes of a blood red moon. I feel like I have the world in my hands. But is it dangerous to give that power to an insane man?
I punch erratically until my knuckles turn blue and red. Licking off the residue of blood stained cement. I feel the adrenaline rushing through me. Punching the ground until my skeleton gets a taste to.
I slit my arms to perfect red dotted lines of 11. There's a specific reason for that number. But it's a secret you'll never find, so I just laugh. While you watch me split my skin in half.
I bite my lips until they to begin to bleed. If I do this enough, maybe I won't have to ever speak. I suck until my lips turn dry. And I penetrate through my skin with my teeth once again.
I chew my nails down to the core. Watching the red water bleed through the cracks of my fingers. The stinging sensation that makes my chest tense. But floods my face with a warm, bright red.
The demons have already chewed down to my bones. It's slow, but painful, but I love their tongue sliding on my flesh. Sinking their teeth to rip me to shreds. And so I bite down more and savor the taste.