I feel like I'm losing control of my life. She betrays me and says she's sorry. I believe her but I know I shouldn't. I love her but I know I shouldn't. I feel like a puppet who's trying to cut his strings. Stuck in a cycle of Stockholm Syndrome. Is love any different? I feel like it should be. It used to be, but now it's just an inability to defect. Threats more abundant than thoughts. Sometimes I feel courage to leave, which rapidly turns to fear. How could someone let go of his or her greatest memories? And yet those memories become spoiled and all I'm left with are fallicies in disguise. I think I can follow through this time around. Yet where would this leave me in the end? Is it worth it? Doubt consumes action and doubt begets doubt. Left with my nemeses: stagnation and insecurity. Is the risk worth the reward? What is the reward? Reward should not be synonymous with pleasure. My prize for action will be my drive for inaction. This gyre known as love. . .will it ever seize its pull?