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Feb 2018
Listen to me. I mean really listen. Without judging me, without acting bored and not interested in the hope that I'll stay silent. I need you to listen...
Listen to my heart break that little bit more every time I open my eyes in the morning. Knowing that I have to drag myself through another pointless day.
Listen to the sound of my skin tear apart as I slice it with my chosen blade. Excited to feel the adrenaline and euphoria.
Listen at how my blood makes a crimson dotted streak where I have parted my skin. Purposely scarring it for my satisfaction only.
Listen to the tone of my voice when I tell you that I'm fine. Lying to your choosing-to-be oblivious face.
Listen at how I wear long sleeves in the summer. With a red face and sweaty forehead.
Listen to yourself question my wardrobe choice. Then listen to yourself believing my repetitive lies. Once again.
Listen at the way I paint the same smile on my face, over and over and over again. The smile I won't wash off purely for your benefit.
Listen to me when I tell you that I love you tremendously. And truly mean every word.
But listen at how much I think that me dead would be the ultimate act of love.
Listen to my mind as it tells me every second of every day how pathetically worthless, ugly and alone I am. And me believing every word.
Listen to me when I tell you that I can't talk right now, I am with friends. But in reality, I am creating my craved for dotted streaks.

Listen to me. I mean really listen. Without judging me, or acting bored and not interested in the hope that I will stay silent.
Shut up. And listen.......
Written by
Unwillingly Muggle  21/F/United Kingdom
(21/F/United Kingdom)   
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