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Feb 17
Dude - totally don't read or watch Thirteen Reasons Why
again - unless you seriously want - or need - a reason to cry.

Like every day.  Like a freaking ****-cry sob-monster.  For 13 days.  

Dude, come on.  Remember the times.

Remember how you'll cry for like for a week after you think it's an awesome idea to buy the soundtrack from iTunes and listen to that Lord Huron song on repeat eleventy-hundred times.

Pick a comedy special (or anything else) instead.  Netflix has like a mega-jillion of them.  Poll your friends which ones don't **** and make a list.  ****, rewatch Black Mirorr or Arrested Development.  Or totes - Flight of the Conchords! You have choices, dude.  

I know it's an amazingly well written book and a brilliantly done series.  Don't rationalize based on your cinematic expertise.  Reliving your high school experience and temporarily undoing years of therapy isn't worth it.  Don't be a dummy.  

Keep your eyes on the prize.  Remember there's always money in the banana stand and that they are illusions - tricks are something that ****** do for money.   You can use your time so much more wisely.  **** it, how long has it been since you watched This is the End?  It's time to bust that classic out, dude.  You can't beat Rogen and the guy from How to Train Your Dragon.

Get it off your kindle now.  Don't think you won't regress because you already read and saw it once.  Write a program or tell Alexa to show this warning if you try to pick it off Netflix.  Or better yet, write it to redirect to Parks and Rec or 30 Rock.  Remember how you're going to Knope and Lemon your way through your career.  Get inspired, don't get sad.  Don't think back on loser high school and how traumatic it was.  You're better than that dude.

Dude, simply be amused by how many times you called yourself dude.  Isn't that way more fun than crying for 2 weeks?
I've been toying with rewatching 13 Reasons Why - I watched a year ago when it came out - even though it affected me unlike most anything I've ever watched before ever.  This is not really a poem but more of a humorous attempt to talk myself out of it.  Both the book and series are very well done - but if you can identify with the subject matter it is easy to get back into a bad kind of headspace.
Jeannie Kristufek Hawrysz
Written by
Jeannie Kristufek Hawrysz  Wake Forest, NC
(Wake Forest, NC)   
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