You can confide in me, just remember I too am only a vessel which means I can only hold so much before I'm overloaded carrying baggage I was never meant to, and can't drop on the curb every Friday morning...but come Friday night, I thought I did. Pouring out bottle after bottle, drowning myself in liquor drunken in a sunken place reaching an area unfathomable and out of reach of everything. The more I drank, the deeper I got, losing myself in the waters, hoping I'd be able to catch a wave, but it was too late. I found myself in a place where waves didn't happen anymore, and the pressure continued to build by masses I wasn't built to handle. I finally hit rock bottom, and there was nothing more I could do.

Hopeless.

Feeling this way is like screaming while on a roller coaster, it happens, but no one ever really pays attention. After all, we are all on the same ride. Belonging to the same local area, networking creating a web of support, but everyone knows once night falls and the screen goes black all you’ve got is yourself.

Restless.

In the middle of the night, running through thoughts without leaving a trace of how to get back so I go until I can’t run anymore. Falling deep into a-me-gdala. Trapped in a trance of nostalgia, replaying past experiences in search of something new. Instead, I just lay hear hoping that tomorrow never comes. After all, it isn’t like we were promised it in the beginning.

In the morning,

When the morning comes, I’m a new person. Sun shining through the window, shedding light through the pain I once had. I remind myself that life is like an echo, and the world we live in is listening. So, I try to speak things into existence creating a balance from within. Aligning the cards I was dealt trying to make sense of them, but now I’ve noticed that the next day deals from a new deck.