Yesterday I woke up in a feeling of pure nausea. I threw up in the shower, but I forced myself through because,
I have to keep up with this facade that I have my life together. That somehow, in some way, I’m getting better.
Yesterday I went to school and I felt scared and alone. I have no one to talk to, all I have are memes on my phone.
But I have to keep up with this facade that nothing is wrong. That I haven’t been suicidal and depressed for this long.
Yesterday I came home in a feeling of exhaustion. I saw a message from a so called friend who said it was me he would abandon.
I can’t keep up this facade, ******* it, I’m already so alone here. Why would you abandon your friends for a girl who barely knows what personality you wear?
Yesterday I broke down crying from the loneliness and silence in my room. I tried to sleep it off, but I just woke up in a nauseated doom.
This facade is only a wall to block those who wish to care. And yet I always claim that I’m not being treated fair. ... Yesterday I slit my arms until they bled. Because I’m tired of the things that everyone said.
I can’t keep up with this facade that I’m happy, because I know I’m not. I feel it every day and it makes me feel like I should lay on the ground to rot.
Yesterday I wished there was no yesterday. Only a silence to fill the room of a body in decay.
But I have to keep up with this facade that nothing happened last night. I put my long sleeve sweater, smile, and quietly march on, hoping they never notice another lost fight.