Growing up we’d see those high school movies with that one kid who commits suicide.
And we’d say “That would never be me.” Or “This can’t be serious.”
But I had found myself in that position. And god it’s the worst ******* thing ever.
I had found myself alone like that kid in the movie.
I had found myself depressed like that kid in the movie.
I had found myself skipping breakfast and lunch because I had no one to sit with.
Because sadly I don’t have the ***** to get up and make friends.
And apparently that’s my fault. And I apologize.
I’m sorry my brain has the power to bring myself esteem down.
I’m sorry I stutter and shake because my anxiety couldn’t recognize a familiar face.
And I might be like the kid in the movie but I will not end up like the kid in the movie.
But in a way I did end up like him. Because those words and those feelings I felt.
Killed me. Not in a way where it had physically put me six feet underground.
But in a way where those words and feelings killed me that my mind just stood blank.
And my emotions had been long gone I don’t recall the last time I even smiled.
Thinking about it I did end up like the kid in the movie.