As if I haven’t written enough about anxiety, but here
it is, reminding you.
I’ve been entirely too nervous for
most of my life. I overthink
ways I could ***** up way more
than succeed. I obsess over and over
my appearance; my body is too much in a
world of overwhelming plenty plenty, I want
to be empty empty. I find peace in
water, I can feel the flow of
waves, and calm within the movement. My
body itself never stops its movement, I’m
fidgeting and my heart tells me to
stressrespond:panic and now my
fingertips are red and tingly, they
press on every object with hesitation
asking again and again if they’re real real,
my brain removes me from reality
and even pressing a thing is too cold so
it catches and breaks my skin, I
feel suddenly freezing and guilty, I
want as much space as possible to be alone, I’m
repeating thoughts and
shrink into nothing nothing I say and agree
I am nothing nothing my breaths and my
heartbeat and my blood disagrees. And
the cycle repeats.