I think of him and smile
when he says my name I burst
he makes a joke and I laugh for the whole world
when he asks if I'm okay I think he cares
but then I see him with her and remember he is not mine
that I am just a friend
a friend who he gives his jacket too when she is cold
a friend who offers to punch other guys for her
a friend who he kisses in a not friendly way
a friend who brings her work when she is sick and stays and studies with her
a friend who checks in with her mom when she is missing
a friend who he holds at a dance like a friend doesn't hold someone
but then I know that he is with her
not me
he will never be with me
because we are too scared
too weak
too surrounded
too wrong