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Jan 2018
its an incredible feeling getting to know everything about someone and falling in love with them, they become your everything, the reason behind your smiles and the reason for waking up in the morning.
everyone always supported me and him and told us we made each other happy but nobody ever told me about the bad stuff.
when things started getting bad, all i could think about from the moment i woke up is who hes with and if hes having fun without me. i wondered if he still cared about me like he used to say he did. I wondered if truth was he didnt think about me at all anymore. I became focused on trying to keep my relationship going as long as i possibly could, prioritizing him over actually important things. i ended up pushing him away without realizing because of how controlling i became. i started to get worried, and lose my confidence, thinking it was something i was doing that he didnt like. he became the reason behind fighting to hold back tears and the reason i didnt eat because i was just too sad. I stopped sleeping because i would wait for him to text me and let me know he was ok or that he was sorry or couldnt sleep without me, even though he never did.
love hurts. it can be amazing and it will be until someone starts changing and stop showing you how much they care or want you. youll feel like youre the one whos in the wrong and might even start to change the way you look hoping to get their attention, but truth is nothing stays perfect forever.
The thing i regret the most was how i made excuses for the way he would let me down or become busy the minute i needed him most just because i didnt wanna let go of someone who wasnt sure about me.
Written by
Caitlin Wilson  F/Seattle
(F/Seattle)   
  417
     Sam, Rick the shoe shine boy and ---
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