Growing up, I was taught the story of two men One built his house upon the rocks and one upon the sand And I learned the difference between humility and pride I was taught to differentiate the foolish from the wise Because when God sent the rainfall and the waters began to rise, The house on sand crumbled right in front of thoughtless eyes And my father would tell me, "Darling, don't build your foundation in the weak, in something that might die" But I've been constructing my home on gravel my entire life
If there is a God Why did he let me build my house upon the sand? Why did he lay down every brick and let the nails tear through my hands? I am an urchin in the dirt leaving claw marks in the earth And my cries fall from my mouth and cling to my tattered shirt If there is a God Then why would he call himself a Father to me? Why would he want to break my heart and crush my dignity? He prides himself on the ringing in my ears and his mason jars of tears Instead of being my faith, why would God want to be my greatest fear? If heaven is where he is, then hell is anywhere but here
If there is a God And he's my Father And he is so divine Then why did I grow up so sick and sad and tired all the time? Why would he instill doubts from Satan himself for everyone to see; "You're inadequate Inadequate That's all you'll ever be" My mistakes render me useless, At least, that's what Father says of me
And if there is a God, And he's my father How could he walk away as if nothing ever happened, although I have seen it all before Because what happens in this House of Heaven stays behind closed doors He would enter his bedroom, and leave the door open just a crack So when he would read his Bible and show us how a true Christian should act I'd turn to my little brother and say "I wish one day we'd be holy like that".
The mortar in my walls are breaking and the water is rushing in I wish so badly to repair it, but I've always been like this The dirt I fell in twenty years ago is matted to my skin The cuts on my soul since childhood are all I've ever been I'm sorry Father, for I have sinned And I have nothing good to show And I don't mean to point the blame, Father, but sin is all I've ever known
If there is a God, would he let me stand before his throne? Would he take me into his arms and treat me as his own? Would he wash my ***** shirt and let me stand where the saints have stood? Would he help me build a house upon the rocks Like a father should?
I wonder if I can build it well enough to reach him Because my current house can't as long as its this way If there is a God I wonder what he'd say about me
I am the prodigal daughter you never learned about in stories