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Jan 2018
I stood before the mirror
Transfixed by the image
Staring back at me
I knew her

The woman’s hair was long and brown
Her face lovely and long
Her eyes were light blue
She smiled knowingly at me

I knew she was me

I had seen her in my mind
I had heard her soft voice
At one time I had loathed her
Now I loved her deeply

Bianca looked knowingly
Into my tired eyes
It was like she was a non-corporeal lifeform
That I couldn't touch with my hands

A specter perhaps?

I smiled back wishing
With all my inner being
That she could leave the reflection
And we could embrace

But I cannot truly touch her
She is encased in my mind
Far from my consciousness
Separated from my life

Only part of who I am

I hated to turn away
From the smiling fresh face
I didn’t want to see
As her vision faded away

I stood a moment longer
I reached out my hand to feel her face
I gently stroked the cold glass edges
Of the mirror

The image reached back

Suddenly I felt so overwhelmed
Knowing I could not touch her
Hot tears rolled down my cheeks
The agony of our isolation swept over me

I brushed my tears away
Smiling one last time I turned to go
Behind me I could hear her sobbing
She was so lost, so lost

The pain was almost unbearable

How terrible is the loneliness
We must suffer in the world
How much more so it must be
For the images we have formed

I wept for the soul
I had created in my mind
The image of who I wished I could be
Forever separate, yet one

Trapped in a mirror
Bianca is an alter in my dissociative identity disorder system. She is indeed a part of me whom I dearly love.
Shirley J Davis
Written by
Shirley J Davis  57/F/Illinois, USA
(57/F/Illinois, USA)   
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