strangers gathered around a table
talking and laughing
smiling at each other like they have a secret
an inside joke
a bond

they are surrounding me
the cheerful mood is intoxicating
makes me feel as if everything will be okay

the mirage shatters
the illusion disappears

I do not belong here
I have never belonged here

I have always been on the outside
looking in

I often catch myself wanting
and wishing
to be in

to feel at peace
and happy
is all I have ever wanted
to be included

but I will always be on the outside of everything
and never truly belong