Let me tell you a secret, I hope you keep it to yourself I try not to show it so often but I guess I am depressed Oh no, I’m sorry I didn’t mean it unload my burden on you I was just having this feeling and I didn’t know what to do
You see at first I thought it was just a bad day That I’d stay in and watch some movies and be okay But then it became a bad week, and then a bad month And slowly I lost the count of the days, I felt worthless
I was doing everything that I did as usual but the time slowed down and the pictures started to lose colors At first I thought it was just me but then the whole world started to seem blur
The most difficult task became getting out of bed every day So I started staying in, sleeping or just lying down thinking it was just a day off, a much needed break but little did I know it would gradually become my escape
I tried “reaching out” to the people around me who posted on social media that they can help and **** but I didn’t want to just load it all on someone so I tried to be subtle, indirectly leaving some hints.
People thought it was for the trend, I was being cool They handed me more bricks to build a stronger wall From being away from God to being delusional I heard it all.
I didn’t realize when I began losing people Maybe it was the wall that kept them out or maybe they just didn’t want to have someone like me around someone who they’d talk about later of course.
I see I’ve been speaking since some time now And you look tired and bored of me Wait, let me tell you a joke or two anything you want, please just don’t leave.
I’m stupid? Yes! Of course. I’m so stupid that I’d try to **** myself by jumping from the ground floor.
Did that make you laugh? Oh I’m glad! I hope you didn’t notice how badly I wanted to say top floor instead of ground floor because that would have only scared you away.
So I was telling you about how people left me alone They didn't understand my isolation and coldness were just attempts to find someone to hold onto during the storm but instead I became invisible just like this poem
I couldn’t blame them though, I never would You can’t force people to be there for you No matter how much you want to No matter how much they should.
I understood them despite all the dark clouds around me I could see their fears, their thoughts, their priorities Everyone had a right to have someone better But they were just afraid to end up on the letter
They didn't realize how they weren't supposed to cure me They just had to be kinder and show some empathy But that's alright, sometimes they need it themselves too Maybe that's why I try to be always there because I've walked in those shoes.
Instead of filling our hearts with hatred and disgust We should look around, we all are humans We should understand each others' pain, make them feel okay We should try to make sure that their bad days are just bad days.
Life's too short to regret when it's too late You can't spend it living in a state of what ifs What if I had just called her and asked her how she was? What if I had just stayed there when she tried to cut everyone off?
Oh, is it time for you to go? I guess I should too. Thank you for listening to me I hope this stays between me and you.