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Dec 2017
Frozen rigid body, stuck within my own loud chaotic head,
Having to sit in a room full of people fills me with unbearable dread.
The facade that 'Im okay' is one I've worn my whole life, can't I be alone instead?
They all look at me afraid that I'm lying. I am. I just want to lay in bed.
Can't do that without funny looks being thrown my way, this rotting mask I wanna shed.
In the confines of my sactum I go to breathe free, this all weighs so heavily, like lead.
Hate this feeling of anxiousness, like maggots, I scratch at my chest, until it turns red,
It flows through, worming inside me, I let it feel at home, it's better than being emotionally dead.
I'm comforted Feeling anything at this point, though now I can feel the numbness spread.
The lies spew out so easily now, none can be taken back, none can be unsaid.
Sarcasm has become my best friend. One that'll help me in those tiring times ahead.
I'm exhausted with myself, an endless invisible battle, no one sees, inside my own ****** up demented head.
Written by
Dee  30/F
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