when i sleep, i don’t dream of you

i’m sorry
but it’s true

i don’t dream of you, i don’t see you
i barely ever hear from you
the polaroids on my bunk walls are gone
i covered them with pressed flowers and rotting leaves
i covered them with doodles of daydreams
of open skies and crooked wings
i gave myself some air to
breathe & forget

and i’m sorry love
i didn’t mean to
i swear

my lips turned blue when the ground turned white
i loved you more each day,
but you lie about where you go at night
and i lay my **** bare

so i’m sorry love
i didn’t mean to
i swear

..but also, i think, i'm only pretending to care...